Certified Mediator - Delphine du Toit.
Mediation has traditionally been viewed as a cheaper, faster, more informal process than going to court.
Mediation is a confidential and informal process of resolving disagreements involving two or more parties.
Although mediation is well established as an alternate to the judicial process, increasingly it is being used for the effective resolution of conflicts that wouldn’t normally have gone to court.
Examples of circumstances that mediation can help with are intractable disagreements between project team members; ‘personality clashes’; bullying; and psychologically toxic workplaces. Mediation is also highly successful in resolving family and community disputes, typically resulting in improvements in relationships through better mutual understanding and respect.
As mediator it is my task to ensure that everyone involved feels safe and is heard.
I facilitate a conversation that brings clarity, insight and understanding between people who are in disagreement and who are unable to settle issues between them.
The ongoing effect of a successful mediation is an improved relationship between the parties and an improvement in their ability to resolve conflicts in other situations. A successful mediation typically has a long-term positive impact on the family, community or workplace where the disagreement originally started.
Most of us are ill-prepared for the time when we have to start caring for and making decisions on behalf of our ill or elderly parents. Sometimes decisions are made in a time of crisis, which can trigger friction in the family and less than optimal arrangements for the older family member.
It has been shown that where families have not been able to resolve their differences about the older person’s care, that person typically ends up ‘in care’ in a home or residential facility much earlier than necessary; sometimes against the wishes of the older person. The last years of one's life should not become a nightmare because the family ignores our wishes or gets caught up in old disagreements.
Often the person who has become the primary caregiver can no longer cope – burnout is a very common problem.
So what are the options for a family that can’t agree on critical aspects of the older person’s care and support?
Elder mediation provides a supportive, safe and inclusive way of bringing the family, concerned friends and caregivers together in the best interests of the older person.
There are so many factors that work against good decision-making when it comes to the lives of the elderly in our communities, such as adult children who have moved away for work; failing health; factors around physical and mental capacity; interface with the health care and long term care facilities; estate planning; and family dynamics. The risks of not working together in making decisions are that the older person's condition typically worsens, the caregiver suffers from high levels of stress, and the older person often ends up prematurely in a hospital or long-term care facility.
Elder Mediation is a wonderful resource available to assist the family and others who are struggling with reaching agreement involving an older adult.
As an elder mediator I ensure that the right people take part in the conversation and that all voices are heard. That makes it possible to reach good and effective agreements.
I help you focus on what is possible and what is in the best interests of the elderly person.
Costs: Mediations vary in complexity and duration. I therefore will engage in a conversation with you regarding your needs before we structure an agreement on process or costs. I do not cost-recover on travel time within Nova Scotia.
Please use the CONTACT page on this website to request more details and to see how I could be of service to you in regard to the matter that brought you to this page, or phone me at 1(902)789-3953
Here is a CBC article and a video interview on the benefits of elder mediation for our growing population of seniors